"Hello, Ms. Adams. Please take a seat. The Wellbeing Counselor will be right with you. While you wait, we'd like you to complete the following questionnaire. Take your time, but don't labor over your answers. It's best to go with your gut feeling."
Personal Fulfillment Questionnaire
Rate how well each of these statements describes you on a scale from 1 for "Not at all", to 10 for "Absolutely!"
A. I know who I am. I recognize my patterns of behavior and habits of thought. I know my strengths, as well as what challenges me. I have a sense of my place in the world, at least for now.
(I thought I knew who I was, but I've really been struggling with what my next step is. But you know, I'm okay with figuring that out because I know I will figure it out eventually. I'm giving myself an 8.)
B. I can say, "I love myself" and mean it unconditionally. I am happy with the person I have become.
(Can I say that? I don't say that, but if I think about it, it is ... true. Does any kind of doubt or hesitancy come up when I say it? Yes, there is a hiccup somewhere, but I'm not sure where. I'm going with 7.)
C. Over the years I have had to deal with some things about myself that were difficult. I've had a few dark nights of the soul, but eventually I have faced what troubled me and came to terms with it. Generally I am willing to face my shadows as I become aware of them.
(The dark night of soul thing is certainly true! There have been some really tough times where I completely fell apart. That time in Boise ... Ahhh! And I do have some habits of mind that are pretty crazy. Like that perfectionist thing. What's up with little Miss Know–It–All? Mmmm. I'm going with 6. I really hate questionnaires. Are there any typos I can obsess over?)
D. I've had some successes in life which I feel good about. Not everything has worked out as I may have wanted, but enough has such that I feel satisfied.
(Ah ha, finally! Now we are singing my song. Yes, successes. Not that time in Boise—got to stop thinking about that now—but after Boise when things came together and I was able to do a great job. I'm going 10 and doing a silent victory lap around the waiting room. Whoo hoo!)
E. When things have gone differently than I have wanted or expected, I have found a way to accept the reality of the situation with little disappointment, regret or anger. I accept my life.
(Oh boy, acceptance. That feels so defeatist to me. So fatalistic. And yet, I have come to see the wisdom in accepting some things. Like Mom. She is not going to change. But I do struggle. I'm going to say acceptance gets a ... 5.)
F. I am very much engaged in the world and with people in ways that are meaningful to me and that I care about.
(Yes, yes, yes! That's easy—another 10.)
G. I would say that in all areas of my life (physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, relationships, etc.) I am doing well, or at least okay. I have challenges from time to time, but nothing is chronically a big problem area.
(Who are these people? Okay, let's focus. Physically-I'm okay, check. Spiritually? Well I don't feel in crisis so I must be okay, right? Check. Emotionally? Yes, this seems to be my problem area. I am not feeling great, and I haven't been for a while. Nothing major, just a mild depressed feeling—a lot. Okay, that's not so checked. Financially? I'm not rich, but I can pay for what I need and there are a lot of people struggling. I'm not struggling. Check. Relationships. Again, not a strong area, but except for a significant other, I'm good. Did I just say "except for a significant other?" Okay, half check. Squint my eyes and I'm going 8. No, 7. How about 7.5? Yes, 7.5 it is.)
"You realize you are talking out loud, don't you?"
"The Wellness Counselor will see you now."
How would you rate yourself on the areas described above. (Note if you are going to speak your answers out loud, be sure you have all the privacy you want. ;-)
A. ____ Self awareness
B. ____ Self love
C. ____ Shadow work
D. ____ Success
E. ____ Acceptance
F. ____ Meaningful engagement
G. ____ Lack of chronic debilitating issues
Add them up and divide by 7 to get your average score. Does this feel about right in terms of describing your current level of fulfillment? Fulfillment is how satisfied you are, not on a daily basis but in a more generalized way about your life as a whole.
Given your results above, what might you want to focus on this year so that you feel more fulfilled? What would be your intention? What is one step you can take in alignment with your intention? What's another?
May you find fulfillment in expected and unexpected ways this year!
Beth and Eric
This monthly slow essay is from Beth Meredith & Eric Storm of Create The Good Life.
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